The farther down the road of life I get, the more I realize how much I like trying to continue growing as a person. When we're younger, I think we see our education as finishing high school, getting a college degree, maybe going for a masters, or a medical degree, law degree, etc. But I've come to realize that there are opportunities for growing ourselves on a daily basis, stretching the definition of who we have seen ourselves to be, constantly striving to be a better of version of who we are. My choice for learning right now: books. Reading allows me to select the voices I want in my thoughts. Television, movies, news media, not so much. So much of what we hear on a daily basis is just toxic. We don't need toxic. We need hope. We need to know that we are okay as we are, and that we still live in a country that affords everyone opportunity. The opportunity to grow and be the best version of ourselves that we can be. This week, I am looking for ways to do more and give more. An English major by choice, I've recently decided I want to learn more about the stock market and dabble with investing. This week, I looked for a new charity to donate to, a food bank in South Florida that offers meal programs to children in need. In a world that feels out of control, these are things I can do to ground myself and focus on actions that grow me. That is really all I actually have control over. Dream your dreams. Make them happen.
When Things Are Too Heavy...
2020 was a year of not only facing reality, but learning to live with it. It was a year of feeling as if we were no longer in control of our daily lives. Of witnessing painful, difficult things that colored hope for our future with a heavy mist of grey. Of recognizing that certain rock solid mainstays in our lives weren’t rock solid at all. Of waking up to feel as if we were stepping into quicksand as we faced the day instead of dependable ground beneath us.
There’s no erasing any of 2020 or the many difficult things that happened. There is only looking forward, looking up, and releasing those things that are too heavy for us to carry into the future with us. In 2021, I will continue trying to be the best version of myself that I can be while accepting that perfection is not attainable, choosing kind words when frustration overwhelms, looking for ways to put more good into the world, and letting go of those things that turn my feet to concrete and weigh me down. I will let go of those things I cannot change.
The Case for Vitamin D
Have you scheduled your time in the sun today?
There has been an abundance of mixed messages about exactly how much time we should be spending in the sun. We don’t want skin cancer, but we do need our vitamin D. For more reasons than we might have imagined.
For those of us who live in a seasonal climate, it’s not always easy to get any amount of sunshine on a cold fall or winter day. Impossible, actually, when it’s twenty degrees outside. And we readers are a cozy bunch. If it’s cold, we’re staying inside with a good book.
Given the wealth of recent notable studies on the necessity of sufficient vitamin D levels to support our immune systems, I thought I would share with you some of the research I’ve found.
Association of Vitamin D Status and Other Clinical Characteristics With COVID-19 Test Results
Vitamin D Status in Hospitalized Patients with SARS-CoV-2 Infection
COVID-19: Scientists raise the vitamin D alarm
So how do we know where we stand with our vitamin D levels? And how can we make sure it’s in the correct range?
You can ask your primary care provider to do a Vitamin D blood test. I use an at home testing kit by Everlywell that is very affordable and gives you results within a few days. I find this is an easy way to monitor my D levels every 2-3 months. It is important to know your level before supplementing and also important to regularly monitor your level so that you can adjust supplementation as needed.
If you’re interested in learning more about Vitamin D and what others are doing to address deficiencies, here’s a link to a very good Facebook group on the subject. Vitamin D Wellness Group
I use this particular supplement as it also includes the recommended K2 along with the D3.
Let the sun shine in.
What It Means Not To Turn Away
A week or so ago, my daughter, Kavvi, and I were driving home from a quick trip to town. A couple of miles from our house, Kavvi looked over and saw a deer in the ditch on the side of the road. She thought the deer was alive, so we turned around and drove back, pulling over and crossing to see if she was okay.
She was sitting up, alert and unmoving. We couldn’t see anything that looked like an injury. As my daughter stepped closer, the deer tried to get up, and it became immediately clear that at least one of her back legs was broken. She cried out in pain and slumped back into the ditch, sitting still now, just watching us with her wide beautiful eyes.
She didn’t look afraid. I’ve helped animals in this kind of situation enough times to know that they understand when they need our help and are grateful for it. She was.
Kavvi and I were both upset, but I tried to keep a clear head and called someone to come and help us get her out of the ditch.
She wasn’t in a good place, right on the side of the road. Cars and trucks and tractor trailers kept coming by in both lanes, some slowing down, as I asked them to, some not. Three cars out of forty or so asked if we needed help. The rest drove on.
Rodney Hubbard, who helps us on our farm, came with our truck and got out to see what could be done. We decided it would be best to lift her out of the ditch and put her in the truck where I would drive her to the veterinary clinic where we take all of our dogs and cats. I had tried calling a couple of local veterinarians I know who are sometimes in the area, but was unable to reach anyone.
We slowed traffic the best we could while Rodney bent to pick her up. She was probably less than a full year old, not yet fully grown. As soon as he lifted her, it became clear that both of her back legs were broken. One dangled precariously, nearly severed.
I immediately started to cry. We put her in the truck in the back seat with my daughter. The young deer lay across her lap as if it were something she was completely used to. I can’t imagine the pain she must have been in.
We both cried most of the way to the clinic. I knew the outcome would not be good. And I questioned why God had put us in that spot because honestly, it wasn’t a day I was feeling strong enough to handle something this painful. But as we drove, and I could so clearly see how at peace the deer was, I understood why he put us there.
Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you. - Rumi
I don’t know who hit her, or how long she had been there, but I do know that she would have died there, alone and in pain, suffering. And while I dreaded reaching the clinic and making the decision I knew we faced, I realized that we were the angels’ wings carrying her to peace. We couldn’t save her life, but we could end her suffering and send her on to a better place. I believe this is what God intended for us to do that day. That He didn’t want her to lie there suffering and ignored.
The veterinarian and clinic staff were as compassionate as it is possible to be. They came out to the truck and the doctor gave the deer a sedative to relax her. And then a few minutes later, we put her to sleep. It was peaceful, and as hard as it was to experience that, I wouldn’t redo any of it. Just knowing that her suffering was ended and she did not die alone gave us comfort that we had done the right thing.
We asked that she be cremated. A few days later, we picked up her ashes and brought them home to our farm. Kavvi and I drove down to the creek where so many of the deer on our farm rest peacefully in a wide grass area in the afternoons. We spread her ashes there, close enough that she can hear the creek gurgling and know the comfort of the deer who will join her spirit there daily.
Later that afternoon, I went outside to walk up to the barn and looked out at one of the fields not far from our house. There was a lone deer there, grazing, peaceful, content and safe. I think God let me see that to remind me that she is with him, doing exactly that on green grass in a place I hope to see her again someday.
Is It All Too Much?
Is It All Too Much?
It used to be that we knew about the things taking place in our local lives. Small town newspaper, person to person relaying of information. There was TV, local news, nightly news, but these were on for limited times each day, thirty minutes, an hour, and we received measured amounts of the disturbing events going on in our world.
Switch the channel to today, and what could be more different? News is on twenty-four seven, back to back programs with more upsetting events trailing in print across the bottom of the screen, even as we try to process the alarm being relayed to us by the current on-screen anchor. Many of us have a cell phone in our hand at the same time. We scroll through Facebook or Instagram, reading posts where people scream their opinions on things that are upsetting to them.
Think about what our brains and hearts are trying to process and make sense of today.
Before social media, I didn’t see daily posts that show horses being hauled to kill pens for slaughter. I didn’t see ranting posts from people humiliating and torturing their dogs. I didn’t see posts from people demeaning others for their views on things they disagree with. I didn’t see malicious posts from journalists happy to hear the news that our president has tested positive for covid-19.
I don’t understand cruelty. I don’t understand meanness. I don’t understand hatred. All of these things have never been more visible in our world. A constant stream of images and words that prove this truth.
I know in my earlier years of life bad things happened all the time. And maybe I did walk around in a pair of rose-colored glasses. I’ve always tried to see the good in people. To believe that we all want the best for each other and for all living creatures. I just don’t know if it’s true anymore. I want it to be. I so want it to be.
I know that, ultimately, we each have to help in the areas of our lives where we are able to make a difference. But if we don’t lead with kindness, with the desire and intent to treat everything and everyone in our lives, and with whom we cross paths each day, as we ourselves want to be treated, then we will continue to be bombarded with this constant stream of what is wrong in our world. Because so much is wrong.
And I do believe we are all being affected by the ugliness we see in front of us. Technology has given us the ability to bear witness to more of it than I believe we can deal with.
I can only pray that we will each be struck with a desire to be different from what we are witnessing, to individually act by the golden rule we were taught early in life. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
What else can possibly work?
And we need to start seeing the good in this world. But we can only see it if it rises up in every possible word and action. If it becomes a tsunami of intent that washes away the horrible, the unacceptable. We can’t continue to see what we’re seeing every hour of the day. It’s just too much.